The Stigma: Understanding Male Victims of Domestic Violence

Many of the First People Housing blogs have previously focused on the issues of homelessness, rough sleeping, male mental health and suicide rates. As a charity who provides opportunity and shelter to ex-offenders, rough sleepers and male victims of domestic violence, it make sense for us to highlight the last area where we focus our support.

Domestic violence is an issue of public interest. It is not an problem that struggles to grab the headlines or garner attention, however much of the media coverage and public discourse is centred on the issue of male domestic violence against women. While women are undeniably more likely to face intimate partner violence, men can also be victims of domestic abuse, both in gay and straight relationships.

In this blog, the issue of male domestic violence will be highlighted and explored with reference to case studies and recent statistics in order to shed light on a growing problem and the lack of resources available to male victims.

To begin with, it seems apt to accurately define domestic abuse before exploring it. While there are competing definitions, the one offered by the United Nations resonates most as it underlines the fact that not all forms of domestic abuse are violent. It is also given by a global intergovernmental organisation with 193 countries as members, lending credence to their definition. The UN define domestic abuse as “a pattern of behaviour in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.”

Domestic abuse can take on many forms, whether physical, emotional or psychological. The issue many men face is the blurred lines of what actually constitutes as abuse and what is deemed to be harmful behaviour.

The blog exploring where the line is drawn between what is damaging and harmful behaviour and what constitutes abuse will be explored by FPH another day, however semantics aside, the latest statistics available indicate the issue is bigger than the public would perhaps realise.

The Office for National Statistics (ONS) 2023 data shows that the problem is more prevalent among men than media headlines would suggest. According to the figures, one in three domestic abuse victims in the UK are men – equating to over 750,000 males. Moreover, one in seven males will be a victim of domestic abuse in their lifetime and 6.5% of male victims have considered taking their life due to partner abuse in 2022/23 compared with 2.8% of women.

The issue is clearly a prominent one, however it is my view that the majority of the media and public narratives surrounding domestic abuse are centred on female victims. One quick Google search of “domestic violence” will inundate your computer with pictures of male offenders and female victims. This is not to undermine female victims but rather to highlight than men do face the problem as well. Even household names like Johnny Depp and Paul McCartney have spoken out about their experiences.

The stigma attached to men speaking out about domestic abuse is certainly a factor in the one-sided narratives surrounding the problem. The fact is, while men are less likely to experience partner abuse, they are definitely less likely to speak out about the issue as well.

Prominent charity Mankind Initiative focus their efforts on supporting male victims of domestic abuse through a helpline, directory of local services and general information on their website. The aforementioned helpline has also enabled the charity to provide data that clearly emphasises the problem men have in vocalising their experiences.

According to the charity, 58.9% of the men who call the helpline have never spoken to anyone before about the abuse they are suffering and 64% would not have called if they had to provide their identity. When the statistics of how likely males (6.5%) compared to females (2.8%) are to take their lives as a result of partner violence, this shows that the problem is speaking out is extremely consequential.

The stigma is clear to see. Similar to the issue many men face in speaking out about declining mental health or contemplation of suicide, males in the UK seem to fear the notion of appearing less manly and therefore turn to silence.

Even though the stigma of suffering in silence can and does have deadly consequences, there is arguably a shortage of resources available to male sufferers when they do take the brave decision to speak out.

According to more data from Mankind, as of February 2024, the UK has 57 organizations offering 410 refuge or safe accommodation spaces for men. Not all these spaces are only for men with 302 available to be shared between males and females. One organization significantly skews this, providing 46 dedicated spaces. Without it, there are 56 organizations with 359 spaces (64 dedicated).

There is a lack of dedicated resources to men suffering. While there are reputable organisations and charities doing brilliant work in the space like IDAS, Karma Nivarna and Mens Advice Line, it is challenging to get men to speak out in the first place and once they do, the security of knowing they can be housed or helped should be more readily available. The former Tory government did offer support to male victims in their “Domestic Abuse Plan” of 2021, however they also published a specific paper regarding the issues women face titled “Tackling Violence Against Women and Girls Strategy.”

Once again, this blog does not seek to downplay or undermine the challenges that women face, however it is not outlandish to suggest that public discourse, media narratives and a one-sided governmental approach to the problem may contribute to the difficulty males face in speaking out and seeking help. If the narrative doesn’t change from all involved, the statistics indicate that men are twice as likely to contemplate suicide as a result of the problem than women are.